Going offline

OK folks, brace yourselves. This will be my last blog post until the middle of July, and you won’t be seeing me tweet either. Yep, I’m going offline. Well, sort of – I’ve decided to stay off social media for a month. Why? A few reasons. Part of it is that I find myself getting fed up with it: at times it seems that Facebook is nothing but baby pictures* and vegan propaganda, and my Twitter feed is an unholy mixture of cute kittens, wry observations, and horrific human rights abuses. And as for Tumblr – there are only so many gifs a girl can take.

But here’s the thing. However fed up I get, I still keep coming back for more, checking it all every day. First thing in the morning. Last thing at night. Innumerable times in between. Scrambling for my phone whenever I hear the ‘bing!’ telling me I’ve got a message, a retweet, a new follower, whatever… I think there’s a word for this sort of behaviour. It’s called addiction. And I don’t want too many addictions – the prescription drugs and afternoon tea are quite enough.


And another thing – social media takes up a lot of time. Time I could be spending doing something else. Writing. Baking cakes. Watching Eddie Izzard. Reading classic novels. In Search of Lost Time ain’t gonna read itself, and the title seems especially apt in this instance, as I try to reclaim those precious minutes of my life that have been spiralling down the social media drain.


It’s not that I think social media is inherently A Bad Thing. When I was laid low with back pain, it was a lifeline, a way to feel connected with the world outside my bedroom. But, like codeine, crack and Candy Crush, it sure is habit-forming. Now that I’m well enough to venture out a bit more, I need to kick that habit if I’m to create the time I need for the more important things in life. So I figure it’s the moment to go cold turkey, reset my brain, and see what I can achieve when I’m not scrolling through tweets all day. I’ll be back on here in a month and I’ll let y’all know how it’s gone. Meanwhile, it’s a blackout for me: no Facebook, no Twitter, no WordPress, no Tumblr, no YouTube. If you need to contact me, you’ll have to do so by good old-fashioned means, like text message, email, WhatsApp, or Skype.


*and sorry new parents, but they do all look the same